Friday, September 11, 2009

Remembering



I went to NYC at the end of December 2001.
My friend and I waited in a 3 hour line to stand on a wooden platform and look down at the devastation.
By then it looked just like any other giant construction site, but it was so much more than that.
On the evening news, they announced that 3 more bodies had been found in the rubble that same day.
I cried that night. I felt that I had made a mockery of people's grief by standing in a line to look at death and destruction.
I don't feel guilty now. It's all about intent.
I was paying my respect in the only way I knew how. I feel confident that the millions of people who have looked down on it since were doing the exact same thing.
Having lived in NYC since 9/11 I know that life goes on for everyone. But, I also know that even though people are going about their lives as usual, they are remembering. In their own way. And that's all we can do.

3 comments:

Deanna Munoz said...

Annie. You are wonderful and your thoughts are beautiful and I appreciate reading them.
Love you.

Ben P. said...

I have a good friend who was in high school somewhere on Long Island. In a discussion one day she told me that basically everyone at her high school had a relative who died in the attack. I can't really fathom that kind of devastation.

I told her about our production of "Hole in the Sky." She actually found it offensive, as she didn't think we had the right. We were at a school thousands of miles away, and she thought we didn't understand. Not really. And I think she had a pretty good point, in a way. But I agree with what you said. It is all about intent.

Years later when I visited New York for the first time, I also visited ground zero. I didn't really know what to expect, but as I stood there looking at the site I looked past the hole to a building on the other side. There, on the side of the building, on a scaffold lowered from the roof, was a man washing windows.

And I cried like a baby.

I know that I will never forget, and I'm grateful that I've had my own opportunities to pay my respects.

annie said...

Ben-yeah, that show was definitely not one of those that got a lot of "oh, i loved that show" responses. i never really minded that though. i know it wasn't everyones cup-o-tea and i can't even be sure, if i were a spectator, i would like it either.
and your friend is right. we will never really understand, at least not the way she does.
but i can say, as a participant, an actor, it was a truly cathartic experience and i wouldn't exchange it for anything. i like to think that everyone else that was in it feels the same way.