Monday, March 18, 2013


I've been defriended on Facebook a few times.
I think it's really sad (slightly amusing, but in the saddest of amusing ways) that we can literally click a button and be done with someone.
Of course it's not always that easy, although sometimes they probably wish it were, other times it actually is that simple.

I got defriended recently by an extended family member.
Apparently, she and my mom had a bit of a heated exchange about something.
Lemme tell you a few things about my mom:
She loves Facebook.
She is really passionate about certain things.
It's sometimes hard to tell when she's joking or not when she makes comments.
That being said, she's not malicious (unless it's political...) and she made a comment on a picture this person posted that did not go over well (she quickly apologized for any misunderstanding, but it wasn't accepted).
My mom actually told me about the exchange because I don't really follow this person's feed.  It sparked my curiosity though, so I checked it out. 

I'm reading through the comments that were, in all honesty, pretty uninteresting, and came across one from her to my mom calling me and my brother and sister "spoiled rotten".
Again, not super interesting and definitely not the worst thing I've been called.
 However, lemme tell you a little something about me:
I hate being dragged into other people's crap.
I know this isn't some weird personality quirk of mine.  Clearly, no one likes it.  I just tend to have a pretty severe reaction to it.  

Maybe on another day I would have ignored it and moved on (although, I kind of doubt it).  I mean, I have literally met this person once.  She doesn't know me at all and I honestly could not care less that she has this opinion of me or any at all.
And it's possible I had some underlying rage that day, because I snapped.
I didn't attack her personally and I wasn't out to defend myself or my siblings.  I just wrote a little response with as much overwhelming sarcasm as I could muster.

I'm not exactly sure what I set out to accomplish, but I accomplished something.
And I think one of my biggest regrets in life will be not taking screen shots of that gem and the 45 comment aftermath (2 of which were mine).  At the very least, to have as evidence if I ever wind up in the desert with a single gun shot wound to the head.

This girl lost her mind.  She threatened me and later threatened me and my sister.  She got a friend involved.  My poor, well-intentioned cousin stepped in trying to be a voice of reason and he was completely unsuccessful.
And then it was gone.  She deleted the entire thread, defriended pretty much my whole family, and I am fairly certain I won't cross paths with her again.

Being defriended is a blow to the ego.  No matter how it happens.
Whether it's because of something hard and dramatic and hurtful and you see that you've lost a friend and it makes you sad or just because you wish you had clicked that button first.

This is why Facebook sucks.
And I'll be checking it again shortly. 


Janey said...

I'm in love with this post. We've all been there!

Brittany Krallis Stapf said...

1. Shortly after your family fued, I officially friended your mom. Facebook Full Circle. We will now be friends forever! *fingers crossed.
2. I love - with all my heart - that your biggest regret was not in your sarcastic words, but in forgetting to get the screen shots. ALWAYS get the screen shot!
3. Are you done with your tiara yet?.. I would really like to borrow it.

Yodasmom said...

My greatest regret was being defriended before I got to read Annie, Sarah and Mark's comments. However, hearing Annie's voice telling me what she wrote was probably better because of the inflection in her voice. No one does sarcasm like Annie and Sarah. Just in case anyone cares...the war of words was over the new Twilight DVD and my dislike of the whole series. In defense of my niece in law (the warrior), I don't know her well, but she pretty much lives with a huge chip on her shoulder. And because I don't know her that well, I don't know why. She is also on some really nasty medication that has, from what I understand, changed her personality. I know it does that. I am still friends with my nephew tho' and that's all that matters, cuz he posts pictures of my grand nephew, who is a doll.

Diana said...

Mark says that she is just "bat s*it crazy". Your dad and I were talking the other night at dinner and since we weren't defriended (don't know why) he said he should have posted "Don't you have things to buy for Evan instead of spending money on Twilight?" when she reposted the picture (minus the comments).

Southern Belle said...

My step-mom defriended me after a fight we had about 2 years ago and she hasn't spoken to me since and makes my dad leave the room when he talks to me on the phone. Needless to say our fight was about how she was always selfish and immature as the adult when I had to grow up being around her. I can't think of much more immature than defriending your step-child (or child) or facebook. So lame, but actually my life has been about 1000 times less stressful since it happened, so I am grateful. P.S. I love your blog and your talent for writing!

Anonymous said...

I have been defriended and blocked by one sister in law who I didn't do anything to (result of a divorce - but seriously I didn't say/do anything to her). And I have been defriended, refriended, and defriended again by another sister in law. It is awesome. Overall I have decided it is better that way

Valerie said...

Yeah, it is super weird. Facebook, that is. It's so much nothingness that we all give so much weight to. But, we KNOW it's nothingness, but, it still matters somehow.

It's like, how many babies can you fit into a tire?

Shiloh said...

how many babies can you fit into a tire????? Oh Val, I love you.

This post reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry's girlfriend ranks people by the number they are on her speed dial and her step mother gets really put out when Jerry becomes #1 and she is moved down to #2. Oh Seinfeld, so true to life.